Welcome to Canadian Real Estate, Housing & Home.
Allow me to introduce myself! I’m Steve Fudge and I’m celebrating over three decades as a realtor, property consultant, and proud resident of Toronto, Ontario, Canada.
Today I’m sharing one of the recent instalments from my Dear Urbaneer blog series, where I guide homeowners – a couple – who are energized by the prospect of refreshing their newly empty nest to suit their new lifestyle à deux.
Read on!
November 2023
Dear Urbaneer:
After raising two kids at the same address for 18 years, we’re officially empty nesters! While the house is indeed quiet, we’re excited about modifying our home for the next stage in our lives. At the moment our furniture was purchased with rambunctious teenagers in mind, the space plan is decades dated, and most of the common areas remain the domain of our children even though they’re currently living out of province.
We’re now pursuing our interests, hosting dinners, and cultivating friendships, all of which went on the back burner as we raised a family. Now we want our place to serve as a “home base” for all of these pursuits. How should we approach our project list to reflect our needs and aesthetics, keeping in mind that while we will likely downsize in a few years, we’re not ready to do that right now?
Signed,
Ready To Refresh
Here’s my reply:
Dear Refresh:
Congratulations on your newfound freedom! I love how you are proactively embracing becoming empty nesters and exploring refreshing the family home to become a space that serves you both as a couple and as individuals. If done wisely, whatever time, energy, and capital you allocate towards refreshing your home should increase its value, although I suspect this isn’t about generating a financial profit as much as the personal benefit you’ll gain through a spatial reinvention. As empty nesters, you now have the opportunity to take the space that nurtured your collective identity as a family, and on that foundation create the place you envision for the next stage of your lives. How wonderful to be anchored by the deep meanings and memories of a home well loved while embarking on its domestic refreshment.
In last month’s Dear Urbaneer: Should I Choose The City Or The Suburbs?, I counseled a young couple who had sold their condominium and were processing their housing wishes, wants, and needs for a freehold dwelling in which they could raise a family. They are effectively you two twenty+ years ago. Their challenge – as it was for you as Buyers their age – was trying to balance location, dwelling type, property size, and building condition to their budget and actively seeing what options were available to them in the city and in the suburbs, with several economic, social, and health-based factors making a case for each.
Just as you allowed the spaces in your forever home to better serve your growing laughing barking brood, your objective now is to take those spaces that have served you and your children so well and reinvent and repurpose them for this next stage. Incidentally, the hallmark of a really great property is one that flexes and adapts to support your household at whatever life stage you’re at and not the other way around.
I want to note that your enthusiasm to refresh your home on the heels of the children moving out is fairly common for empty nesters. After years of saying “someday” the kids will be gone, and we’ll have the time, energy, and money to create a space “just for us”, pulling the trigger is pretty easy for most couples when that day finally comes. In fact, many empty nesters are quite willing and able to say “Let us help you get your bags in the car, kids”! Studies show that over 70 percent of empty nesters modified their family home after the children moved out. The most popular place to start? The children’s now-vacant bedrooms, of course, but pretty much all of the areas where the kids ruled the roost are up for grabs. And why not? The great thing about children becoming adults is that everyone gets to enjoy the journey of newfound independence.
So much of your tenure as a homeowner has been dedicated to the needs of your family, first with babyproofing, then childproofing, and then adapting your space to accommodate the needs and wants of your children in support of their evolution while also ‘giving them space’ through those moody teen years – from crayons to perfume so to speak. Therefore, it stands to reason that You <insert drumroll> take your primary residence, to be your empty nest, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in dilapidation and in health, to love and cherish always. I now pronounce your home wed to you again!
But before you start turning the space once commandeered by Princess Poopy Pants into a yoga slash art studio and Junior’s bedroom into a sports memorabilia hall, it’s important to consider the following questions in order to distill your next step answers:
Going From Full To Empty, For How Long?
How long do you intend to remain in your current dwelling, and while you’re having that conversation with your partner, how many moves do you have in your future, what do those look like, and where are they located? Also, a nugget I’ve learned in the real estate trenches is that when people say they’re going to live in their residence for 3-5 years, they really mean 7-9 years. People who say they’re going to live in their home for 5-10 years generally exit around the 9-15 year mark. Also, whatever length of time you think this refresh will take, and for whatever cost you ballpark, there’s a good chance, in reality, it will take twice as long and cost twice as much. Remember, time is getting shorter and there is no penny candy anymore. It costs a dime. Have these conversations now.
Will Your Empty Nest Stay Empty?
With the high cost of everything, it is very common for adult children to return to the family nest – at least for a while – as they gain their own financial footing. This can occur for many reasons, including low wages, low savings, high student loan debt, unemployment, or their own divorce. If your children might boomerang, you may want to consider that possibility in your plans and have that inform your priorities and plans – meaning you may want to approach some projects slowly or focus on some areas having multi-purpose functions.
Aging In Place By Accident Or Design?
Are you aging in place in your current residence by accident or design? In other words, if you’re not intending to age in place in your current home, is there a possibility or probability this could still occur for one or both of you? One of the bigger conversations I’m having these days, especially after long-term care homes were the spreading grounds of Covid-19 – which prompted me to write As We Start Calculating The Impact Of Covid-19, The Failure Of Government To Care For Its Senior Citizens Becomes Apparent is discussing what changes are required to ensure a property can allow someone to age in place. Subtle design choices can have a profound impact on how long you can comfortably live in your own home and, in my opinion, will be considered ‘value-added features’ by future buyers as we collectively understand how important a functioning home is for all ages and types of members of a household.
For example, opt for mechanisms that are easier to operate when mobility is impaired, like selecting door levers over doorknobs, a rocker panel over a toggle light switch, or incorporating wainscoting and chair rails that are securely attached to the walls and thick enough to grip. For flooring, choose soft and smooth surfaces, like cork, rubber, and linoleum which are kinder to joints but don’t pose a trip hazard, like high-pile or excessively padded carpets can. An adjustable-height showerhead with a handheld wand can extend your ability to bathe independently, an activity that can have a demonstrable impact on preserving emotional well-being and a sense of dignity.
As a realtor, I’ve seen a surviving parent make the family home a multi-generational family home with the adult child and family moving in because it served everyone and improved everyone’s quality of life.
Dear Urbaneer: What Are The Important Considerations Surrounding Multi-Generational Housing?
With COVID-19 Outbreaks In Long-Term Care Facilities, Is Multi-Generational Housing Better?
Is It Time To Embrace Technology?
Even if you intend to downsize sooner rather than later, taking a thoughtful, well-researched approach to a refresh – and exploring how technology is streamlining and automating many household operations – may help you avoid making suboptimal solutions that impact your resale value while enhancing the appeal of your property to Buyers in all age groups when you do decide to sell. For example, a smart home assistant like Amazon Echo or Google Home will allow multiple products to be operated with voice commands rather than having to find multiple apps on a computer screen every time one wants to use a product. Smart Home features allow you to operate multiple household features and systems including your thermostat, window coverings, security system, garage door, appliances, and lighting. Plus, with the rapid development of the Internet of Things and artificial intelligence technologies, we will soon see more smart home systems based on behaviour prediction and recognition, so family members in different locations can be alerted if usual patterns of behaviour change.
Here are some part Urbaneer posts that explore technology in our domestic lives:
Dear Urbaneer: What’s The Latest Smart Tech That Can Improve My Home (Life)?
Do Your Walls Think? Exploring Technology In The Home
Dear Urbaneer: What Is Involved With Installing An Electric Vehicle Charger In Toronto?
Sustainability & Emergency Preparedness In Your Home
Improving the sustainability of your residence can be beneficial to you and the environment at large. For your refresh, explore using low carbon, recycled, or thermally efficient building materials; installing systems like hot water on demand where you can limit the temperature of the water so no one gets scalded, or a quality ventilation system that improves air quality and keeps the indoor temperature ambient. Incorporate renewable energy such as rooftop solar, a rainwater harvesting system, or a green roof that lowers the surface temperature of your building and offers the potential for food security.
Furthermore, as hurricanes, wildfires, heat domes, and atmospheric rivers increase in frequency (and all the other climate crisis impediments), the extent to which your residence is climate resilient will be something more Buyers pay attention to as the frequency increases and insurance premiums jump. In September 2022 when Post-Tropical Storm Fiona struck Prince Edward Island, about two-thirds of homes and businesses on the island were still without power five days afterward. It’s not just about having a generator or backup battery system handy (though that’s a great place to start) but also water, food, and the ability to communicate.
Here are some Urbaneer.com posts that may be helpful:
Dear Urbaneer: What Is Biophilia And How Can I Use It In Home Design?
Dear Urbaneer: How Can I Prepare My Home For Emergencies?
Climate Risk Assessment And Real Estate Values
Hello Toronto, Ontario, Canada! Make Your Home A ‘Net Zero’ Hero
On Building Sustainable Housing In Canada
Lock Up & Go, Or Nesting
Are you a homebody? Do you putter or plant, tinker or talk, clean or cook, nap or nuzzle at wine o:clock? Or are you more likely to be heading out the door to a different destination? Regardless of whether travel means hopping in the car to blotter dot at the bingo hall or slipping into Seat 1A for a weekend jet-away, take this opportunity to discuss how, what, why, when & where each of you will dedicate your time and energy to the operations of the property and the management of the household over the duration you plan to live there. It’s also practical and pragmatic, given Princess Poopy Pants isn’t taking out the bins and washing the cars anymore, and Junior’s pursuit of the culinary arts has left hunger pains that cannot be filled by Dagwood sandwiches alone.
It is as important to mutually reframe, refine, and refresh the operations of the property and the management of the household as it is to refresh the dwelling’s space plan, design, and decor. Set the framework for daily, weekly, and monthly tasks and chores (laundry, mowing the lawn, making your favourite curry, putting out the bins, darning socks), accounting for the flow of income & expenses, seasonal & annual bringing out/putting away cleaning and maintenance, the inevitable & surprise repairs, the rotating replacement of appliances, fixtures, furniture & fittings your property. You may choose to outsource a lot of this if your budget allows, but we also know that taking care of the simple and mundane for each other is what makes a committed partnership GOLD (and what others envy). However that looks, establish this together by looking at your entire property through a joint lens. Should your gardens have low-maintenance shrubs and grasses, or should you install a watering system? Would it serve you to adopt a minimalist décor scheme, and Marie Kondo yourself out the door wearing Swiffer Booties to simplify your lives? Now might be the time to discuss refreshing your residence with easy-to-clean materials for flooring and other hard surfaces so your home becomes mostly low-to-no-maintenance, as well as sourcing the trades and services to manage operations whether you’re in town or not.
Restore. Refresh. Renew.
As part of your discussions to refresh your property, I recommend you create a list that identifies all the existing deficiencies, maintenance matters, required upgrades, and all the nice-to-haves and in-my-dreams transformations you each desire. Be serious yet have fun. Play with this. Then place each item under one of the three categories
It’s a wish.
It’s a want.
It’s a need.
Looking for guidance on this? Here’s Understanding The Six Essential Layers Of Property that will help you identify almost everything that should be on your radar and – because I love a good list – this is my list on what lists you should then create in order to tackle everything in your shelter according to priority, time, and complexity: Dear Urbaneer: We’ve Moved Into Our New Home. Now What?
As I wrote in Dear Urbaneer: Help! We Want to Renovate And Keep Our Relationship Intact, it makes sense to prioritize all the fixes your property currently needs. Perhaps you’ve been in dire need of a more sensible kitchen layout, or a new roof, or wish to finish your lower level properly, having deferred it for the sake of simplicity as you actively raised your family. If these projects are lingering, you may want to start with them, as they may fall under the need category versus nice to have.
Anything that will ultimately make your home most functional, especially in light of your new path ahead, is an investment in your home and your well-being. But I also encourage you to grant each other a wish, so you each have a domestic indulgence that you’ve always dreamed of because no matter what age you are, renovating a home is always filled with challenges and it’s nice to have a personal reward in sight for when the going gets tough.
A Third-Party Opinion Before You Pull The Trigger
It might serve you well to bring in a home inspector to look at the structure, its envelope, the major building components, the drainage systems, the hardscaping, and all the other bits and bobs that make up a property. Even if you’re not listing your home up for sale, hiring a credible third party to assess your dwelling is a smart investment. If you have a long-standing relationship with a contractor or someone else in the building trades consider reaching out to them.
These two Urbaneer.com posts may be helpful reads:
The Benefits Of A Presale Inspection Report For Property Sellers & Buyers
Dear Urbaneer: What Is And Isn’t Covered In A Home Inspection?
Before Your Refresh, Get Organized
With the kids gone, now is the time to purge and get organized. Don’t simply throw everything out; adopt a slow and steady approach. Pack your children’s belongings and treasures that they may have left behind and store them clearly labeled. Use a one-room-at-a-time approach to sort what you’re keeping while designating the items for donation, the items you want to sell, and the keepsakes to give to people you love.
Furthermore, if the refresh of your residence will be substantial, your contents may need to be placed in a storage facility until the work is complete so label all the boxes clearly so you know what’s inside and where you intend to place them once the refresh is finished.
Even if you’re not downsizing at this moment, there is some great info here to prepare you for a property refresh:
Dear Urbaneer: What Is The Best Process For My Elderly Parents To Downsize And Sell Their House?
Dear Urbaneer: Is It Time To Downsize My Property
Take Your Time & Understand The Process Depending On The Scope Of Work
While you may be energized and inspired to embark on all the projects (after all, you may have been contemplating this opportunity for years), it is smart to press pause and really think about what your priorities are.
If you are planning on doing a substantial renovation, then planning the projects comprehensively takes time and the budget to do so. If you are using a one-by-one approach, then prioritize a list, and be sure to complete one project before moving on to another. Living in a sea of half-done projects is chaotic and will counter any new calm that your shift in lifestyle may have offered.
Furthermore, the City of Toronto now allows all residential properties to become four units as-of-right. Perhaps this is something to consider as an option for multi-generational living, co-housing with friends, or as an income supplement.
Dreaming Big? Here are some Urbaneer.com posts that offer additional insights and information:
On The History – And Popularity – Of The Open Concept Space Plan
How COVID-19 Will Likely Change How We Design Our Homes
Post-Pandemic Housing Trends To Watch For
Dear Urbaneer: What Are The Steps To Home Renovation?
Dear Urbaneer: Should I Renovate My House In Stages Or Do A Full Gut?
Dear Urbaneer: I Need Help With Architects, Builders And Toronto’s Committee Of Adjustment
All Residential Properties In Toronto Can Now Become Four Units As-Of-Right
You. Don’t Be A Ditchk
I’ll keep this section short and sweet. I have witnessed wives wanting to keep control of their domestic environment and not giving their husbands much latitude to contribute and make design choices. I have seen husbands retiring from their profession and undertaking the task of building their dream home without engaging their wives’ consent. Ensure everyone’s voice is heard and their aesthetics seen.
Plain and simple. Don’t be a ditchk.
Here’s a means to creating a space you’ll both like –> Dear Urbaneer: How Do We Establish Our Interior Design Style?
Some Design Build Guidance
Dear Urbaneer: What Architectural Design Features Elevate The Value Of Toronto Real Estate?
Dear Urbaneer: How Should We Renovate Our Kitchen With Resale In Mind?
Make Your Entertaining Space Stylish, Welcoming & Fun
It’s the often-spoken mantra of a young family, where they choose finishes that are durable as opposed to dreamy. Now that you aren’t carting kids to and fro and dealing with homework and hobbies, it is time to rekindle old friendships and make new ones. That means creating sublime spaces that are tailored towards effortless entertaining. Whether it’s that white linen sofa or high-end hardwood floors, upgrading to higher-end finishes now can elevate your whole home. Now’s your chance to create an environment that reflects your evolved sensibilities, keeping in mind function, and how you’ve come to habitually use those rooms. Create an adult-focused home knowing it will be responsibly cared for.
Even if your refresh is focused on cosmetics rather than renovations, you can transform your home with small touches that can translate into a big reveal. Fresh paint in on-trend colours, statement lighting on dimmer switches, new window coverings, and replacing countertops, sinks & faucets as well as cabinet handles can make a huge impact. Upgrading flooring, baseboards, and stair railings can do wonders. Wallpaper is making a comeback, partly because manufacturers are making it peel-and-stick removable, which I love because now I can install it on a ceiling without worry.
If you don’t have a big budget, it doesn’t mean your capacity to be creative is limited. Personally, I like a space that mixes old with new, a bit of flea market with fancy and the unexpected with the collected. I am an enormous fan of Facebook Marketplace because, whether I’m in Victoria where my family lives, in Charlottetown where my design incubator is, or in Toronto running Urbaneer.com, I can always find an interesting economical item for sale that will elevate someone’s domestic space. And yes, sometimes the object I buy doesn’t end up fitting as I had intended, but I’m never breaking the bank with these purchases so it doesn’t stress me out. In this regard, don’t be afraid to mix and match or multiply.
Here are some past posts for your reading enjoyment:
Dear Urbaneer – Choosing A Couch
Dear Urbaneer: How Can I Incorporate Eco-Friendly Décor And Products At Home?
He Said, She Shed – Pay Attention To ‘You’ Spaces
If you are having trouble deciding where to start your empty nest projects, I’ve always thought it quite fitting to start with the spaces that are all about You. Look to those rooms that nurture your physical & mental wellness through rest, relaxation, and rejuvenation – your primary bedroom and washroom!
As much as I’m all about design, when it comes to my bedroom my priority is all about sleep. I encourage you to get the best bed in your budget. If I had a partner it would be a bed that allowed each of us to adjust it to our liking while watching a movie, but also ensure we could spoon. I would add a heating mattress pad on top where we could each control our sides, and cover it in any number of luxe linens that allow us to mix patterns with pops of colours. I consider it the adult version of Garanimal clothing for kids. I would select floor-to-ceiling draperies in textured linen and remotely operated blackout roller blinds because they pay dividends in the form of extra Zzzzzzzs gained.
In the washroom, your best bang for your buck is upgrading the fixtures when they’re ugly or more than 10 years old. Sinks, faucets, and vanity hardware are all relatively inexpensive ways to give your refresh significant impact. If space allows, splurge on a sleek freestanding tub, or upgrade your shower to one with a steam unit to start your day or end your evening in style. Don’t want to start jackhammering up floor tile? I’ve had a lot of success covering it over with luxury vinyl plank flooring.
Dear Urbaneer: How Do I Renovate A Washroom With Resale In Mind?
Elevating A Vintage Bedroom At The Black House In Charlottetown, PEI
Tips & Tricks For A Bedroom Refresh At The Black House On PEI
Focus On Flex Space
Flex space is a homeowner’s best friend in many ways, and this is certainly the case for the empty nester. Flex space, such as a den or a room that may have formerly been a bedroom, can shift easily to accommodate whatever you need on demand (especially useful if you have boomerang children!).
The key to creating a great flex space is smart storage and multi-purpose furniture. For example, if you would like to have a swanky home office, include a Murphy bed wall unit, or a stylish day bed that can be both a comfy reading nook or easily converted for overnight guests too.
I’ll admit I tend not to like rooms that serve many different purposes because they often appear confusing, as in “Is it a guest room or a home office? When I faced this issue myself, my solution was to split the room in half to serve two purposes while making it visually cohesive as I share in –> I Love A Built-In Bed.
Make Room For Your Hobbies, Literally
COVID-19 prompted a rapid shift in how we used our homes, including both the necessity and desire for more space – both inside and out – to work/play/learn/live, in most cases, full-time, 24-7. This prompted many first-time buyers and existing homeowners to reframe their wishes, wants, and needs, and seek properties that have enough space for their Work From Home offices (frequently two+), more square footage for their laughing barking brood (including a quiet space for online learning), accommodations for their multi-generational families (With COVID-19 Outbreaks In Long-Term Care Facilities, Is Multi-Generational Housing Better?), and larger multi-purpose dedicated ‘zones’ to meet the expanded activities that accompany multiple occupants spending more time on site (The Movement To Hipsteading During The Covid-19 Pandemic & Toronto Real Estate).
This wasn’t limited to interior living space either, with demand exploding for family compounds that featured swimming pools, workshops, recreational outbuildings, play zones, and victory gardens (and not limited to houses, either as I wrote about in The Increased Desire For Outdoor Space In Toronto Condos During The Covid-19 Pandemic). The quest for more (or more intelligent) space became coveted and pursued across the board collectively shortly after the pandemic lockdown was implemented, regardless of the size and type of existing dwelling you were occupying. Singles living in a studio condo needed space for a home office, a couple living in a 2-bed condo needed more space for two home offices, a nuclear family living in a 3bed semi needed quiet zones for four heads to focus, and so on, which prompted anyone who could afford to climb the property ladder to explore it, which fueled the Toronto (and Canadian) housing market
While everyone hopes the pandemic is in the rearview mirror, its impact will remain on our psyches for some time. As a result, the desire for as much living space both indoors and out will continue, in my opinion. Dedicating parts of your dwelling to pursue new hobbies (or getting reacquainted with old ones) is one of the joys of empty nest-dom. By and large, I recommend you approach your hobby spaces as flex spaces, meaning that whatever your use is, allow it to adapt easily to a different use without too much effort.
Look to rooms that may now be vacant, or even create a corner in an existing room to indulge your chosen hobby if you are short on space. Consider outbuildings as well—perhaps a “she shed” or converting your garage.
Create & Elevate Your Outdoor Oasis
Your backyard may have previously been the spot for swing sets and family BBQs, but just as a primary suite can seal the deal on resale, an outdoor space that is luxe and lush can be equally compelling to a future Buyer. Even if your budget and your inclination are limited, you can transform your outdoor space with furnishings and planters from Homesense, Home Depot, or Canadian Tire. However, I’ve always been rewarded by engaging my landscape designer architect to assist me in creating gasp-worthy environments, including the best-for-my-budget materials, and selecting plants well-suited to climate conditions that will achieve the aesthetic I desire.
For example, here is the black garden we had installed to complement The Black House in PEI.
How To Elevate The Value Of Your Outdoor Urban Space
Making A Splash At Home: The Benefits Of A Backyard Oasis
Dear Urbaneer: How Can I Make My Outdoor Space More Eco-Friendly?
A Black Garden At The Black House In PEI By Dan Does Design
The Perfect Patio At My Movie House Loft
Good Fences Make Good Neighbours In Charlottetown, PEI
Why Outdoor Lighting Offers A Great Return On Investment
As purveyors of real estate, housing & homes, we believe the property unicorn is one that can adapt to your wishes, wants, and needs – so you can live your best life – regardless of what life stage you’re in. Not only do we keep this at the forefront of mind when guiding our buyer clients on their property search, but we also take this into consideration when prospective sellers contact us thinking their existing residence no longer serves them. If your current dwelling could serve you better with a refresh or reinvention instead of selling it for the next purchase we’ll certainly let you know. It’s the Urbaneer way.
Be assured, we are here to help!
~ Steven
